This is from five weeks ago - 20 weeks - and there was no doubt at all that you were in there. Below is more of me and your dad five weeks ago - it was the middle of the second trimester and we were anxiously awaiting your first kicks. It was a busy time for us and, again, I think you can tell what was going on with us.
I was in moot court mode - feeling strongly analytical, sharp, quick, and somewhat obnoxiously in my head.
My sense of humor was on the fritz - that's what happens when I get wrapped up in appellate advocacy. But your dad has a way of curing that for me, as you can probably tell.
Your dad was up to his eyeballs in DSS craziness with families and children exploding and erupting all around. Maybe you can see that we were more tired than before and a little less "in the moment." But no less in love with each other or with you.
When your dad and I are struggling in our work/school lives, we're pretty good about caring for and supporting one another, and this was a time that we were needing to do a lot of that. Perhaps you can see us supporting one another? Or perhaps it's just that I can see it because I lived it with him.I imagine that parenthood will call on us to support each other quite a bit. That's what I've heard from the wonderful friends and examples your dad and I draw from. I predict that it will also keep my analytical mind busy, but hopefully not obnoxiously so. I wonder, though, whether I'll be able to stay centered and not live too much in my head. I don't really know. I've never had an opportunity to find out. It's just hard for me to imagine hanging out in my head all day when I need to meet the moment-by-moment needs that you present and when I have the privilege of hanging out with you. Babies don't live in their heads - they live totally moment-to-moment. Maybe that's where the learning from your kids starts - learning to live in the moment. Who knows? I look forward to the process of finding out.
I love you,
Mom
