Getting to know your grandfather

Hey PunkieKid,

My mother (your grandmother) just sent me the link to an article from a paper about your grandfather. I thought it was a pretty good summary of where he is at this point in his life, as he becomes a grandfather, and it sums up a lot of his history. I will try to get histories up of other important people in your life, but I don't know how exactly, or when, that will happen. For now, I thought I'd repost the article here.

LONG ROAD: STEPS OF FAITH Dan Edwards' latest stop on spiritual journey is leading state's Episcopalians By JOHN PRZYBYS

If he wanted to, Dan Edwards could carry on a pretty spirited interfaith dialogue just by talking to himself.
Consider his spiritual resume: Born and raised a Baptist. Attended a Presbyterian church during high school, and atheist, or at least agnostic, during the latter part of college. Buddhist during much of his career as an attorney working on behalf of minorities and the disenfranchised. And, for the past few decades, an Episcopalian and, even, an Episcopal priest.
It's not a typical resume for an ordained Episcopal clergyman. But, for Edwards, all were necessary steps that prepared him for his latest calling: bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Nevada.
Edwards, 57, was consecrated as bishop Saturday during a liturgy at the Henderson Convention Center. He now serves as spiritual leader of about 6,000 Episcopalians throughout Nevada and in Bullhead City, Ariz.
He is intellectual enough to outline the varying approaches of Eastern and Western religious thought toward social activism, articulate enough to liken his eclectic faith journey to having "hopped on several spiritual lily pads over the course of my life," and witty enough to employ the theme from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" as his cell phone ring tone ("I've been trying to figure out whether it has some Trinity theme in it ... ").
Edwards was born in Texas, in a small town outside Texarkana, to what he describes as a "struggling, working class" family. He was raised a Baptist, and was a very good Baptist at that.
"I was religious as a kid," he says, smiling. "I probably took my parents to church more than they took me to church, even as a child."
Yet -- and, maybe, in a sign of things to come -- the young Edwards even then showed ecumenical leanings.
"One of the things that was confusing to me in my childhood spirituality as a little Baptist was that I always felt these urges to bless things and to forgive sins," Edwards says, laughing. "That's sort of more Catholic piety, which really made no sense in my religious context."
Edwards entertained -- albeit briefly -- childhood notions of someday becoming a clergyman. Instead, after graduating high school, he enrolled in the University of Texas at Austin as an undergraduate, following that up by attending the university's law school.
As early as middle school, "I was interested in law because I was impressed by the courage it takes to be a lawyer representing unpopular people and unpopular causes," Edwards says. "I was struck by the importance of keeping society open and inclusive, and I believed that lawyers played an important role in protecting that openness and inclusivity."
After law school, Edwards spent 12 years practicing law in Colorado and Idaho, working on behalf of migrant farm workers and American Indians. But, by then, his spiritual life had downshifted.
"Sometimes, you hear people who were beaten up or burned by their fundamentalist upbringing," he says. "I was not beaten up or burned, but I did become bored with it."
In high school, Edwards had joined a Presbyterian church because "it was a church where open-minded inquiry was practiced." In college, he became interested in "a more philosophical kind of religion which, within a few years, had developed into a religion of social activism."
But, Edwards continues, "the religion part of it came to seem superfluous. So the religion dropped away and my mind really became about social action and advocacy. And that was essentially an atheist period or, at least, an agnostic-leaning-toward-atheistic period."
However, during law school, Edwards began meditating, "simply for the purpose of stress management. But in the course of meditation, I discovered something much deeper and wider than stress management."
"That was an experience of what I would now call 'God' and I didn't have much of a word for it then," he says. "But that sent me off on a path of searching Eastern religions."
During the early years of his law practice, Edwards was a practicing Buddhist. But, he says, "there came a point when that was no longer adequate for me."
Christianity again called, in part because the message of Jesus meshes so well with Edwards' own interest in social justice and advocacy on behalf of the poor and suffering. In addition, Edwards says his law practice "brought me into encounters with depths of evil I had not experienced before," including the case of an alleged contract killing that took place amid "a larger network of deceit and malevolence (that) was pretty discouraging."
"It was a very dark chapter," Edwards recalls, "and I was looking for a story big enough to have such a dark chapter in it and still come out with a good ending. And Christianity offered me that."
It was then that Edwards "kind of came to the Episcopal church without believing in it. But I decided I would do it as an experiment."
He attended worship regularly. He committed prayers from the Anglican Book of Common Prayer to memory, and recited the prayers throughout the day, saying them "whether I believed them or not."
"And, sometimes, it was painful to say the prayers," Edwards says. "But, as uncomfortable as it was, I kept feeling, sensing, intuiting that there was something to it."
And, little by little, Edwards felt something changing.
"We have a saying in the church: Praying shapes believing," he says. "We don't figure it all out, then pray out of what we have figured out. We pray, and prayer opens the heart and opens the mind. It shifts things in very deep ways inside us."
A key moment came when Edwards visited a man in prison. "He had a rap sheet five pages long: attempted murder, grand larceny, child molesting," he says.
Edwards had been reciting the Jesus Prayer (one version goes: "Lord Jesus, son of the living God, have mercy on me."), and, he says, "you practice it until it becomes kind of a background noise in your head.
"I was visiting this fellow and he came in -- a slim, dark man, a beard. I didn't have much Spanish and he didn't have any English, and we were struggling to communicate. During one silence, I looked at him and noticed this prayer in my head. And I really had this experience: I really felt the presence of Christ in this five-page felon. And that was profound. I wasn't the same after that."
Edwards began participating more fully in the Episcopal church he attended. He was confirmed in the church. "I found myself more and more alive and feeling more and more like myself than I ever did before," he says.
At 35, Edwards began to consider seriously seeking ordination. In 1987, after wrapping up loose ends from his law practice, Edwards entered seminary. After ordination, he served as curate at Christ Church in Macon, Ga., for four years, then for 13 years at St. Francis Episcopal Church in Macon. In October, Nevada Episcopalians chose him to succeed former Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori, who now is presiding bishop of the United States Episcopal Church.
Edwards is as surprised as anybody that his ministerial journey has led him to become a bishop. In fact, he jokes, "my seminary classmates are as amazed as I am to see me here.
"There is a normal path to becoming bishop, and I have not followed it. I left being assistant at a fairly large, well-established church in Macon to go to a very small and struggling church in Macon -- not the sort of place where you look for bishops. A wonderful, delightful place, but not a bishop farm team of the church."
He threw his hat in the ring only after a fellow priest who previously had served here suggested at a pre-Lenten retreat in Atlanta that Edwards might be a good fit with the Nevada diocese. Edwards was skeptical, but checked out the diocesan Web site anyway.
"I fell in love with (the diocese)," he says. "I saw the people on the Web site and I just thought, 'These are people I'd like to know better and have for friends.' "
Edwards looked at the photos of the desert here and remembered that "all of my best encounters with God have been in the desert." He read about the kinds of ministry the diocese does -- heavy on social justice -- and the profile of what Nevadans wanted in their new bishop.
And, he says, "I just thought, 'Gosh, that doesn't sound like what I normally think of in a bishop. I don't know that it sounds like me, but it sounds more like me than it does my stereotype of a bishop."
Deacon Sandy Oetjen of All Saints Episcopal Church in Las Vegas, a member of the diocesan search committee, says Edwards brings "a broad range of experience" to the diocese. And, because of his work with American Indians and migrants in Colorado and Idaho, he also "has some familiarity with the kind of Western way of approaching things."
"We're a very different kind of diocese, and that was important to us: That somebody would recognize the differences between us and one of these very large dioceses."
And, Oetjen says, Edwards and his wife, Linda Holdeman Edwards -- an attorney and a law professor at Mercer College in Macon, she and Edwards met while working in a legal aid office in Colorado -- brought "absolute enthusiasm from the start."
That's certainly true. Two days before his consecration, Edwards already seemed eager to dive into his new calling, explore his new home and meet some new friends, which should come easily to him.
"I'm having fun," he says. "I'm having a tremendous time.
"I have just delighted in calling people I've known over the years and just describing the wonderful array of characters I'm meeting out here. Interesting people. Colorful people. Delightful people. Warm people. Friendly people. Ornery people. Cantankerous people. Eccentric people. All delightful in their own ways."
"There are very few -- very, very few -- dioceses where I could conceivably function as a bishop," Edwards says, smiling. "This is not only one of them. This is the best of them."

Jan. 10, 2008 Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

Jeni asked for more info re: how we chose a pediatrician, and I decided to post the answer in a regular post in case other people were interested as well. Keep in mind, most of what I say about this is from googling around. We spent a lot of time looking for "questions to ask pediatrician" and "how to choose pediatrician" and then we moved on to actual doctors' websites. We did almost all of our research on the doctors' websites because pediatricians have gotten pretty used to the fact that people like to find out a lot about the people who might be caring for our little ones. But also, we do think it's important to interview them and the fact that the majority of them offer free initial meetings to assess whether they are the right doctor for you makes it easy to do that. That said, it's not that easy. Time is hard to come by, especially when I have doctors appointments of my own to go to every week, and considering that I spent "pediatrician interviewing" week on bedrest. So, PunkiePapa and I wanted to do the majority of research from the comfort of our living room, and we were able to do that without difficulty. The list below includes some questions that we found on the internet (http://www.babyresource.com/pediatrician-questions.htm) that I found helpful, but like I said, most of this can be found out from a website.

The purpose of going to the office was to get more of a feel for the place and the people. At the pediatrician's that we chose, the doctor and all of the staff were warm and friendly. They were laid back and seemed colleagial with eachother. We didn't have to wait very long in the waiting room (important when there are likely to be a lot of contagious kids around). The doctor was only fashionably late and he was happy to see us. He took our questions seriously and didn't pressure us to commit to using his office. He spent about 20 minutes with us and didn't seem in a hurry at all. He spoke comfortably about being a father of 4 himself and about how parenting is challenging. He didn't presume to know all the answers to every parenting question. He seemed to have a healthy respect for the difference between medical questions (which he is expert on) and parenting questions (which he says he can offer some insights on, but readily admits that he defers to parenting experts for non-medical questions). I should also say, we asked a lot of the people we know and think are really good parents who they use, and we got a lot of good advice about who is good, accessible, and caring in our area. There were a few names that popped up again and again, and we started our research with an emphasis on those (or rather, the ones our insurance covered and were not too far away).

Pediatrician Background, Credentials, Experience
They suggest that you ask "When and where did the pediatrician complete medical school and residency?" but I don't know why that is helpful. I don't know the difference between a good and a bad med school or residency. But some people might, so ask if you like.

Are they a member of the American Academy Of Pediatrics or any other specialty organization? Again, I don't really know how useful this is, but I do want to know that they are keeping up with the recommendations and research of the specialty organizations. We listened for references to those groups and we were delighted to hear several times that our doctor pays a lot of attention to what the most current practices are.

How long has the pediatrician been in practice? I care about this because I want to know that he's pretty experienced, but not stale.

Does the pediatrician have any areas of subspecialty? For our doctor, yes, preventative medicine. Hot dog! I like that.

What hospitals does the pediatrician have privileges at? Our doctor said that their practice has priviledges at UNC Hospitals, which is where our child will be delivered, but he also said that the peds people there are so good that they actually don't often go to the hospital, at least, not for a healthy new birth. That was fine with us.

How soon after the baby is born will the pediatrician come to see it at the hospital? Not at all, for the reasons I just explained, but they like to see a new baby within 3 days of coming home from the hospital.

How does the pediatrician feel about mothers calling in after hours over "little things"? This is important. Also, my husband and I are big e-mailers. We tend to e-mail unless we are really freaked out about something. So, it matters to us that our pediatrician is happy to communicate via e-mail. In the event that you are different from us and prefer the phone, then make sure to ask "Is there a specific time during the day that the doctor will take phone calls?"

Office Logistics
Is the office conveniently located for less travel time with a sick child? Does the practice have multiple offices you can visit?
What are the office hours and are there any early morning or late evening hours for working parents?
How long in advance must you book appointments?
Are there any diagnostic facilities on site such as X-rays, blood work, etc.?
What lab work can be performed at the pediatrician's office?
Is there a specific time during the day that the doctor will take phone calls, and how does the office handle your phone in questions?
How does the office deal with after hours emergencies?
Is there a 24 hour answering services that can connect you to a doctor?
Who covers for the doctor when they are on vacation?
Does the office mail out reminders for scheduled immunizations and checkups?

Fees, Methods of Payment
How much are the fees for standard office visits?
Are immunization shots extra, or are they included in the office visit charge?
Does the pediatrician accept your insurance?
How are insurance claims handled, and will the pediatrician bill your insurance company directly.
Do they accept checks and credit cards?
Is payment due at the time visit, or will the pediatrician bill you?
What happens if you miss a scheduled visit? Can you easily reschedule?

I really like our doctor on a gut level. I like everything I've learned about him and his practice, too, which affirms the opinion of my gut. I know that we can change if something changes and we don't like him anymore. (My own parents fired my first pediatrician when I was about 90 minutes old because they suddenly didn't think he was so great after all). But I don't think that's going to be an issue. I think that for us, this guy is tops. I hope this is helpful, and I hope everyone else out there trying to make this choice finds someone they like as much as I think we like ours.

Warm and Bright - Thank Goodness!

First thing’s first, the thing I’d been most wondering about (and trust that you might have been also): My capacity for stillness had just about expired, and hallelujah, I’m free to buzz! My BP improved and my weight didn’t go up. I’m cleared to return to my normal self! In that vein, I spent last night putting away a million pieces of baby stuff that we received over the weekend and made sure that I had catalogued the giver of each gift. I’m not exaggerating – your dad and I have about 100 thank-you notes to write. We are so blessed with friends and family and friends of family – all of whom are celebrating the fact that you are on your way. We have almost everything we need and what we don’t have we’ll soon have. I can safely say that if I went into labor this very minute it would be a-okay.

I have a funny story. Remember in an entry I wrote a long time ago I mentioned that I’d had a dream about your birth? It was the dream in which you were named Corinth. Well, I never told you that whole dream, but it’s relevant, so I will. In the dream, your dad and I were at home and we were studying the Love Poem from the book of First Corinthians. (This would never happen, so there’s your first cue that this was a dream). Then an ice storm came and we lost our power and our heat. The brown suede recliner was in the living room at that time. (It isn’t anymore. It’s in your room now.) While sitting in that chair I went into labor, and your dad went outside and realized that the weather was just too bad to go anywhere. We would have to deliver you at home. So, from the recliner I gave birth to you. Your dad cut the cord by candle and firelight. All was well, and we named you Corinth Gradyn Edwards Brown, to be called Cory.

Well, that’s a sweet story for a dream, but only when you feel pretty confident that it won’t actually happen. I, however, have little confidence that we’ll be able to avoid bad weather when it’s actually time for you to come. Chapel Hill notoriously has weird and wacky weather and strange and inconvenient times, and a January 31 due date puts us smack in the middle of wacky weather time. So, I’ve joked a lot about that dream but I would not think it was very funny if you came by candlelight in the dark and cold. I know those sorts of births have happened safely for thousands of years, but I’m just not sure that I could deal with that.

So, I’ve been annoyed with the heat in this apartment for the last couple of months. It seemed to me like it just wasn’t working, but at times I thought that it was. But at the doctor’s yesterday, where we discussed that labor can really happen anytime, the doctor mentioned that the weather is predicted to be bad these next few days including snow and rain. Well I know what that means – ice! If the weather gets just a little colder than they think it will, and rain has fallen, there will be ice. So thinking the cold could be really problematic in these next few days, I finally called the apartment managers. They said they’d send someone out to look at the heat. Great! They also said that the people might not be able to come till the next day (today), so they’d send someone out with a bunch of room heaters. Again, great! Great - right up until I plugged in one of the heaters in the bedroom and took out half the lights in the house. So there we were – no heat, no light, and a forecast of ice. I dismissed it as amusing and trusted that I had not become a prophet in the last nine months, so I slept fine; but I confess, when the heating and cooling guy came about an hour ago and discovered/fixed the problem with the heater, I was glad, and when he applied his further wisdom to get all the lights back on, I was even gladder. So here we are – you and me – sitting in a well lit and warm living room, pounding out a blog entry and feeling very glad. How much we usually take for granted!!