One of the words in the title of this blog seems to surprise people. I had no idea how many different meanings the word "Punkie" might have! But according to a good friend, it can mean any of "young, inexperienced person" as well as "prostitute (archaic); in poor health; decayed, crumbly wood; dry, spongy substance prepared from fungi." Those meanings, while fascinating, aren't quite what we had in mind :-) The name comes from an essential part of my relationship with your dad: silliness! We almost never call our dog by his name. This may be because we didn't choose the name, and I, at least, don't really like it. Instead, we call him by any of a large number of pet names that we have constructed in moments of his cuteness or his sociopathy - depending on the day.
On days when Rex is climbing the counter and eating out of the pizza box, after a chorus of "No! Stop! It's unconscionable! It's wrong!" and once his four paws are restored to the ground where they belong, I usually punctuate the event by calling him "Punk!" Then there are most days, when our canine child is his perfectly adorable self, and I call him "Punkin" (a southern pronunciation derived from the English word "pumpkin,") and even "punkin butt" or "punkin head." From this came the shorter "Punkie," and "punkie head." Now that explains how we got the word Punkie, but definately not how we got to be a punkie family.
For this I must refer to a very, very long car trip that your dad and I took from our home in Chapel Hill, NC to our parents respective homes in Bishopville, SC then Macon, GA, and then on to visit our cousins in Wisconsin. Such car rides make us punchy, and when we are punchy we make up songs. Your dad is much better at this than I am. He can make them up on the spot, and they always make sense musically, rhythmically, and usually, they even rhyme. I, however, made up this song. In this song, I sang random pitches which didn't go together in the slightest, and it goes "PunkieRexie, Punkie Bootie (less vulgar and fit better rhythmically than "punkie butt"), Punkie Husband, Punkie Wife." People who hear our song (which delights us immeasurably) roll their eyes and really can't believe we wer'e adults. We sing it all the time. Now, as we grow more accustomed to our new role as parents, the song has morphed into "PunkieMommie, PunkiePapa, PunkieRexie, PunkieSon."
In naming our blog we thought we'd choose something that pointed out that we are pretty darned happy people and don't take ourselves too seriously. Punkie, yeah? So, our family identity - in flux as it may be - is best summed up by this song. We are a PunkieFamily.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Repost - Who are you, little man?
Hello Little Person,
What are we going to call you? It seems like we waited for so long to find out whether you were a boy or a girl, and now that we know (or at least, we think we do), we get to choose your name. Wow. What an awesome responsibility! Whatever name we give you will be with you for your entire life (unless you decide to change it, but that's a big hassle). It seems likely that our choice will impact your identity - both how you are seen by others and how you see yourself. That's why I'm so committed to naming you with four names. For reasons of family politics, we aren't naming you with a hyphenated last name (Edwards-Brown), but I confess, your personal identity is why I've insisted that Edwards not be reduced to a simple middle name. By giving you four names you will at least be reminded that you are made of two families - not just one. I want you to see yourself that way.
But first names are hardest. I wish you could talk. What do you think about Joshua? We like it a lot, but we aren't just smitten with it. I really like Abel Elias Edwards Brown, but your dad is not convinced. Your dad's going favorite is Corinth Gradyn Edwards Brown. We are both persuadable. Also in the running are Andrew and Joseph. The name Corinth Gradyn came to me in a dream when you were only 8 or 10 weeks in the womb. It was a scary dream, but it seemed kind of weirdly prophetic, so that name's still on the list. Then, there's the current leading name - your dad and I both like it a lot. Jonathan "Jonah" Thomas Edwards Brown. What do you think of that? You'd be named for your father, your great grandfather on his side, and your grandfather on my side. Would that give you freedom of identity? Perhaps not entirely - since no name would really give you total freedom of identity, but how about flexible identity? I hope so. I really like that one. It's purely coincidence, but a funny and appropriate one that this alludes to your spending time in the belly of a whale.
10.2.2007
What are we going to call you? It seems like we waited for so long to find out whether you were a boy or a girl, and now that we know (or at least, we think we do), we get to choose your name. Wow. What an awesome responsibility! Whatever name we give you will be with you for your entire life (unless you decide to change it, but that's a big hassle). It seems likely that our choice will impact your identity - both how you are seen by others and how you see yourself. That's why I'm so committed to naming you with four names. For reasons of family politics, we aren't naming you with a hyphenated last name (Edwards-Brown), but I confess, your personal identity is why I've insisted that Edwards not be reduced to a simple middle name. By giving you four names you will at least be reminded that you are made of two families - not just one. I want you to see yourself that way.
But first names are hardest. I wish you could talk. What do you think about Joshua? We like it a lot, but we aren't just smitten with it. I really like Abel Elias Edwards Brown, but your dad is not convinced. Your dad's going favorite is Corinth Gradyn Edwards Brown. We are both persuadable. Also in the running are Andrew and Joseph. The name Corinth Gradyn came to me in a dream when you were only 8 or 10 weeks in the womb. It was a scary dream, but it seemed kind of weirdly prophetic, so that name's still on the list. Then, there's the current leading name - your dad and I both like it a lot. Jonathan "Jonah" Thomas Edwards Brown. What do you think of that? You'd be named for your father, your great grandfather on his side, and your grandfather on my side. Would that give you freedom of identity? Perhaps not entirely - since no name would really give you total freedom of identity, but how about flexible identity? I hope so. I really like that one. It's purely coincidence, but a funny and appropriate one that this alludes to your spending time in the belly of a whale.
10.2.2007
Repost - Tiny, Huge, Wonderful Act of Faith
Dear Little One,
At dinner a couple of months ago, a friend said that it is ultimately an act of faith to bring a child into the world. Regardless of one's financial circumstances, physical health, age, emotional/spiritual maturity, educational status, family support level, or whatever-else have you. She's absolutely right. I occasionally have fears about this - I wonder if we've done a good and responsible thing. I wonder about whether we have enough money; a nice enough house; an old enough relationship; enough knowledge about - how to do it - to be adults, to be parents; and enough healing from our childhood hurts and patterns. The answer to all of these questions is an unqualified "no." We don't have enough money or any house at all, our relationship is young, and we are still figuring out how to be adults and are only beginning to learn how to be parents. No one is ever totally cured of childhood hurts and patterns - vulnerabilities persist. But you are going to be here in approximately 121 days, and I couldn't be happier.
I have faith that with God's grace, your dad and I will be enough. We will shower you with the totally boundless love that we feel for you. And I have faith in our families - that they will fill in gaps where sometimes your dad and I fail. I have faith in our church - that the other wonderful babies will be your friends and that their parents will be our teachers. I have faith in God - that she will guide our paths. And even though we haven't actually seen you, I have faith in you. You are not concerned with the paint on the walls or the fact that the couch still has a faint odor of cat pee. You do not fear failure, as I do, nor do you have unrealistic standards for your parents to live up to. You trust this lady's body to keep you warm for the next 4 months and lo-and-behold, with your trust it is working.
I marvel at you as you grow. I am amazed at how your body is growing inside of mine and despite my usually random wanderings though the world, my lack of perfect nutrition, loads of exercise, or ability to swallow all those omega-3 fatty acids I feel like I should be taking, by every indicator that we have so far, you are perfect.
10.2.2007
At dinner a couple of months ago, a friend said that it is ultimately an act of faith to bring a child into the world. Regardless of one's financial circumstances, physical health, age, emotional/spiritual maturity, educational status, family support level, or whatever-else have you. She's absolutely right. I occasionally have fears about this - I wonder if we've done a good and responsible thing. I wonder about whether we have enough money; a nice enough house; an old enough relationship; enough knowledge about - how to do it - to be adults, to be parents; and enough healing from our childhood hurts and patterns. The answer to all of these questions is an unqualified "no." We don't have enough money or any house at all, our relationship is young, and we are still figuring out how to be adults and are only beginning to learn how to be parents. No one is ever totally cured of childhood hurts and patterns - vulnerabilities persist. But you are going to be here in approximately 121 days, and I couldn't be happier.
I have faith that with God's grace, your dad and I will be enough. We will shower you with the totally boundless love that we feel for you. And I have faith in our families - that they will fill in gaps where sometimes your dad and I fail. I have faith in our church - that the other wonderful babies will be your friends and that their parents will be our teachers. I have faith in God - that she will guide our paths. And even though we haven't actually seen you, I have faith in you. You are not concerned with the paint on the walls or the fact that the couch still has a faint odor of cat pee. You do not fear failure, as I do, nor do you have unrealistic standards for your parents to live up to. You trust this lady's body to keep you warm for the next 4 months and lo-and-behold, with your trust it is working.
I marvel at you as you grow. I am amazed at how your body is growing inside of mine and despite my usually random wanderings though the world, my lack of perfect nutrition, loads of exercise, or ability to swallow all those omega-3 fatty acids I feel like I should be taking, by every indicator that we have so far, you are perfect.
10.2.2007
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