When we started doing all these photos, I felt hideous, and hence, really nervous. It seemed odd. After all, I have always thought pregnant women were so beautiful, but somehow, when it was me, I found that I didn't - and still don't - feel beautiful at all. When I first started my efforts at journal-documenting the pregnancy (using a different website and less user-friendly blog style) I wrote "I thought I wasn't vain, before, but now I know I just wasn't bothered by anything. These days, I feel fat, bloated, itchy, pimply, greasy-haired, and any number of other awful things."
That's still how I feel most days, and it doesn't help that the number on the scale at the doctor is just absurdly high. Still, I remain committed to this documentation, and the photographer we're working with really helps me to feel good as we work.
After the first session, I wrote "[a]s the day went along, I felt increasingly comfortable in my skin, though decreasingly comfortable in my lower back. That is, I felt good about me, even though my body still hurts and is different than I'm used to. In the end, I'm amazed at how much I like the pictures, considering how lousy I thought I looked at the time. Hormones, yeah?" After the second session, I was in the middle of busy moot court preparation and studies, so I didn't have time to write, but that day I felt just as crummy and I was fighting against a bad mood. Unfortunately, law school isn't my favorite thing in the world and I fight bad moods more and more often these days (today is no exception). But Don took some really good pictures nonetheless. (Sorry, I don't have any of those to post yet).
One thing I hadn't expected when we started shooting these pregnancy photos was how much they would showcase what was really going on with me and your dad throughout the various stages of pregnancy. I think this one
really shows how in love your dad and I are with each other and how in awe we were in those first weeks as we started wrapping our minds around the little bump that was just beginning to show. We were going to be parents! We could still hardly believe it.In this one
I think you can see that I was feeling pretty introspective those days, and that I was pretty secure in my own readiness to be a mom. That has come and gone from time to time as the time draws nearer and I realize that there's still so much to do, but in the deepest parts of me, I'm still basically there. I'm just not as amazed by it anymore. I'm still awestruck during still moments, but there aren't as many of those now that I'm in school.I'm posting several of the pictures Don took at our first session, and for anyone out there reading this who might be looking for a splendid pregnancy photographer , I highly recommend ours - his name is Don Kennedy and you can reach him at don@donkennedyphotography.com. His web portfolio is www.donkennedyphotography.com
I'll post more photos later, but for now, I think this is a pretty good snapshot of the first half of pregnancy. The second half is to come :-)
Big hugs and lots of love,
Your mom
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