I think I’ve moved through the super-moody stage. I was feeling moody during the Thanksgiving through exams period, but nothing feels all that important now. This morning your dad realized that we left the light on in the Volvo while we were out of town for the last week, and when he came into the bedroom to tell me, I didn’t even open an eye to tell him “I don’t really need to go anywhere today; just take the Saturn.” I do have little button issues, though. Like this morning I realized that Dinah (the cat) has been trying to make the co-sleeper her home. No way am I letting that happen! The thing is, since nothing feels that important, it’s hard for me to motivate myself to finish the important work that lies before me.

I’m struggling with this paper and I want it DONE. It’s getting better, which is nice, but it’s getting shorter, which is not nice. I have a lot of theoretical work to do and it’s tough to plow through all the work that has been done already in my quest to do something original. Other things that need to get done include the folding and putting away of laundry that your dad did before we left for the holidays, and doing more laundry. I also would REALLY love to get this salmon color off the walls. Now that we have new furniture, I think a nice light to medium brown would be much better. Calmer, too. I’m still trying to get good curtains up – curtains that will keep the cold out – which seems impossible. It’s also time for D the gifted apartment cleaner to come and make the path straight around here – literally. He’s really good at dealing with clutter. And your bedroom – jeez, I won’t even start that discussion. I try to take it one thing (the paper, for now) at a time, but I look around me and it doesn’t seem like I’ll ever finish. That’s the fatigue part. I understand that this is normal – in these, the last 35 days of pregnancy. According to the “sure baby” website, it’s normal to experience more fluctuations in energy this month. Fatigue is experienced by most pregnant women, but this month, fatigue alternates with periods of extra energy. I wonder what the biological purpose is for the extra energy. Am I supposed to use it on laundry? I’ve been using it on holiday travel.
There’s too much traveling going on and there has been little time to reflect these days. Soon we’ll be in Nevada with my parents; we’ve just returned from Bishopville, SC visiting Big G and Lolly. On our way there, we visited John, a family therapist who your dad used to do a good bit of work with. We came because your father continues to question whether it’s our path to move back to SC and to try to make a difference here. I’m of little help to him because I have promised that I’ll give it a try if he feels the need to do that. I would need to finish my JD first, and might even do the coursework for a Ph.D. in Chapel Hill, but after that, I could dissertate from there (in theory).