Welcome to Your Due Date

Dear Little One,
One of the reasons I started this blog was because I was surprised by the little that your grandparents remember about their pregnancies with your dad, your uncle, your aunt and me. They don't remember, for instance, whether we came before, after or on our due dates. I keep wanting them to know these things, but I'm sure without this blog I'd forget too. That said, I find it difficult to believe that I would forget this long period of anticipation. Maybe in 30 years, though, or whenever you find yourself wanting to know, I'll need reminding. So here's the reminder. As of 10:49 on the day you are "due," there's no sign at all of your coming.

I'm really pretty okay about that. I'm not impatient or especially uncomfortable. I'm grateful for every step of your dad's increasing closeness to readiness for paternity leave. He's really close to ready now. He has about 1hr. left on one case, and I hestitate to estimate how long he has left on the other, but the important thing is that if he were not able to finish it before you come, with this case it would be okay.

I still have a bunch of projects in my personal agenda which make me a little nuts if I think much about them. If nothing else they may help us pass the time, but the presence of a little chaos is probably more valuable than project completion, as it is a lesson in the unavoidable that it is not always possible to feel totally ready for things. I've been getting used to that idea with law school exams for the last 3 years (it's possible to make one's self crazy coming up with deeper and deeper knowledge of the law, and possible to blow an exam by indulging too much in the project of learning and writing about that), and now I can get used to it with waiting for a baby. I never had to deal with this feeling before law school. Before law school, I had the very comforting experience of being able to know with confidence that I was "ready" and "prepared" for every big-deal thing that happened in my life. No more! Your dad doesn't seem to be afflicted with the same desire for "readiness" that I have. I have a feeling his approach and mine are probably both extremes that, if blended properly, could have a very sanifying effect.

In other sanifying (yes, I made that word up, don't learn it for the GRE or SAT) events in our lives, your grandmother (my side) is on her way here. If you come soon, great! She's well prepared; if you don't come soon, we'll enjoy hanging out time, do some projects, and we'll take her to B&E's mardi gras party on Saturday and to church on Sunday.

By the way, have you considered whether you really want to be born on Ash Wednesday? Do you want to be born in Lent at all? If you don't, arrival by Tuesday would be a very good idea. No pressure, it's still totally up to you. Just food for thought.

Love, Mom