Your first decision!

I read recently that some studies indicate that the baby him/herself actually somehow gets the labor process started. I think that’s so cool - your first decision! And I want you to make that decision totally based on when you’re ready to come, so the fact that you aren’t here yet is a-okay by me. I do have very unpleasant lower back pain as I type this, and it woke me up several hours ago and kept me awake for the rest of the wee-hours of morning. But I signed up for this, and I also don’t want to sound like I’m rushing you out of there. Actually, I find myself feeling just a tiny bit (very tiny bit) sentimental. After all, I don’t expect to be pregnant more than one more time in my life, and this has been a very special journey. But for my readiness to meet you, your dad’s readiness to share in care for you and relationship with you, and the fact that I’m physically uncomfortable, I wouldn’t be at all eager for you to exit my womb. That said, science says you will and medicine says you should come out of there in the next three weeks. (Welcome to the 40th week of pregnancy!) So, I thought I’d give you the pro’s and con’s of a few of the upcoming possibilities.

January 25, 2008 – that’s today. Your dad is in court all morning and we have a lunch date with Ed and Sarah around 11:30, so if you decided to come in the next few hours it might be a touch inconvenient. However, we have no need for you to be convenient; children are, by their nature, inconvenient and that’s as it should be. No worries. Also a “convenience” matter, but also one of sentiment, is that your grandmother on my side is in Texas and would not be able to get here if you came today. If you hang on past tomorrow, she’ll be able to come. But warning: our doula works today and we’d have to get a back-up doula if you came today.

January 26, 2008 – that’s tomorrow. Tomorrow would be fine, especially if you could wait until afternoon. I say that because we forgot (like totally irresponsible, non-parental people) to take your car seat to be installed/inspected at the Carrboro Fire Department last Saturday. They do car seat stuff on Saturday mornings, and your dad and I just completely forgot about it. We won’t be forgetting tomorrow, I assure you! So, hanging on past tomorrow is ideal. We really want you to have a perfectly installed car ride for the way home, so perhaps you should hangout inside until then. At this point, our doula will be working as well, so we’ll have a sub if you come tomorrow.

January 27, 2008 – that’s Sunday. Sunday is church day, so while the chances of your grandmother coming are great, the chances of our priest coming are bad. She’s very special to us and if she can’t come that will be a kind of a bummer, but we’ll get over our disappointment and be very happy to meet you! The other person who wouldn’t be able to join us is our doula, since she’ll be traveling for 3 days. She’ll actually be unavailable until the 30th, so if you’re invested in Andee being with us, hangout a little while.

January 28, 2008 – this is Monday, your dad’s last official day of work. He has a meeting to go to, and if I know him, he’ll be running on FUMES because if you haven’t come yet, he’ll spend the whole weekend working on dictation. This job as a child protective services/foster care social worker has been extremely fulfilling, but also extremely taxing on him. He hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. Getting all of his cases transferred before paternity leave is hard for him because (a) there’s an enormous amount of paperwork to do, and (b) he’s become extremely attached to his families. For anyone out there who has ever wondered about the people who do child protection work, know that at least where your dad is concerned, he loves the parents as well as the children by the time he’s gotten into the case, and every bump or step along the road has emotional implications for the social worker as well as for the families. Anyway, the point for you to know is that your dad will really be elated to meet you, but don’t take it personally if he’s a little more disoriented and wiped out than he otherwise would be. If you are able to wait a couple days longer, that would be really nice because I’d like for him to be able to be fully rested and totally present to the birthing experience.

January 29, 2008 – One of my classmates from school says that this is his birthday, and if he’s any indication of what this birthday produces, this day would be an excellent choice. Be born today! It has the added benefit of being the day of the Florida primary. Your dad and I would have at least one diversion to help us pass the time through labor pains. I’m not sure if the voice of Larry King is really the last thing you want to have heard from the womb, though.

January 30, 2008 – This is also the birthday of someone we know and love. You’ll know her, Barbara, because she has offered to babysit for you. You’ll like her a lot, I think. Anyway, if she is an indication of what happens from being born on 1/30, go for it!

January 31, 2008 – This is your due date, but that’s the only thing recommending it. It also has the advantage that your dad should be fully rested up by then.

February 1, 2008 – Not that it matters, but this is my favorite option. (1) The doctor who has cared for us all along will be on call and she would be able to deliver you (assuming there’s no one else in need of an emergency c-section or anything); (2) Andee, our doula, will be back and available; (3) your dad should be well rested by then; (4) by this point, the sooner you come the better because your dad’s paternity leave clock will be ticking and the time grows ever closer till I start my new job as an in-home family therapist.

February 3, 2008 – Totally irrelevant in my opinion, but it is Superbowl Sunday, and you might want to know that.

February 5, 2008 – This is Super Tuesday. 22 primary elections will take place on this day, and your dad and I are watching the primaries with bated breath, so if you’re of a political mind, perhaps you could be some candidate’s good-luck charm. Again, not especially relevant in the short-term of your life, but I’m sure we’ll attribute some meaning to it if you’re born on that day.

So there is some relevant information about when you might consider coming. I hope that you’ve got some good advisers in there with you letting you know what other factors you might want to consider. Know that your dad and I will be eager and ready for you whenever you come. We trust your wisdom and look forward to meeting you really soon.

Much love, Mom