MONDAY, APRIL 21, 2008 - Taking Fertility For Granted - or not.

 MONDAY, APRIL 21, 2008 - Taking Fertility For Granted - or not. Rhett and I decided to try to conceive in the middle of February last year. By the end of April I was pregnant. One of my closest friends from law school and her husband decided to begin trying to have a baby the same day. They are still trying. Rhett and I have a couple of very good friends who have been together for eight years. They decided to have children a long time ago, but it’s harder for them because they are both women. We are so incredibly lucky to have our child and we are reminded every day of how many loving, capable people are still navigating the difficult path to parenthood. Obviously, our friends need a sperm donor if they are going to have a child, but for numerous reasons they don’t want to use a sperm bank. They want a little more assurance than a bank can give them that the donor is a person who they would probably like if they got to know him. I don’t think they are unreasonably picky, either. They want their donor to be “under 40, in good health, and reasonably intelligent.” Rhett offered, but our friends are also quite clear that they don’t want to know their donor. They want the donor to be like “a blip on the radar screen” of their lives. They don’t want the donor to play a role in the child’s life or to remain in relationship with him. I don’t blame them at all. Heterosexual couples don’t have to have some third party horning in on their relationships with their children. Hetero couples don’t have to pay exorbitant fees for each attempt at insemination. I totally get that. So our friends have asked us to ask the male friends in our circle (the ones that they don’t know) if they would help these two truly wonderful women become moms through a home insemination. They are willing to travel outside the state. If I could do it for these women, I would. If I could do this for women I didn’t know but could be assured would be good parents, I would do that too. But I don’t know how to ask this of my friends. If you are male, are my friend, are reading this blog, and are willing, will you let me know? POSTED BY EMILIE BROWN AT 5:12 PM