Our Priest, Lisa, blessed our family with these words from the Book of Common Prayer last Sunday at ECOTA. Lisa previously spoke these words at UNC Hospital, only hours after Daniel's birth. They were helpful in getting through those first few sleepless nights of learning to be a dad. However, the words took on greater meaning in our spiritual community.
It's certainly true that our Daniel is a great blessing to us, perhaps the greatest blessing our our lives. He has changed our lives forever. Never again will we live solely for ourselves. Daniel's need for us, and our need for him, reminds us that life is only worth living when its goal is giving and receiving love. We will spend the rest of our lives, giving Daniel our love, and accepting his offers of love. Even as we are connected to him, even as he is from us, he is greater than the sum of his parts. Because we love him, and because we desire connection with him, we must be willing to honor and bless his unique and special identity; an identity that will emerge slowly over the course of his life.
In this way, we are profoundly connected to the experience of God, whose internal life has been described by the relationship between a parent and child. I write these words with some caution, because neither PM nor I have God's full perspective. We can only guess at the God experience, and any attempt to compare it to our own is as Karl Barth once said "baby talk."
Em and I are fallible, finite human beings. We love our son very much. We pray and hope for only the best for our relationship with him. We will make mistakes, and by grace, we will learn from them.
It is an awareness of our finitude that makes the BCM blessing all the more powerful when spoken in our community of faith. Yesterday, the community made a preliminary statement of support that will be fully embodied in Daniel's baptism. Everyone there, young and old, single and partnered, those who have biological children and those who serve as spiritual parents and mentors said, "we're in this with you. Parenting is joyful, it is solemn. It is lovely. It is messy. We're thankful to be in this lovely mess with you." Parenting is a lovely mess. I'm reminded of this everytime PM and I get excited about poops and spit-ups, and every time I hear other parents talking with excitement about the beauty and wonder of their life as parents.
This is profoundly good news. It's good news because it means that Em and I are never alone in our care for Daniel. When Daniel smiles and laughs with us after feedings, the community's prayers are with us. When Daniel screams at the top of his lungs with the occasional colic, the community of those who have shared this experience in the past are with us. As we take this journey with Daniel, there are experiences, both joyful and solemn, that we will share with him. I don't know the specifics of what they will be, but I do know that our church community will share them with us.
For many years, when facing a situation that causes me to feel anxiety and/or fear, I have imagined that my closest friends are present with me. For example, when testifying in a contentious court case, or attempting to address a difficult conflict at work, or in engaging a grueling paper work task, I have imagined that those closest to me are sharing the experience with me, offering me their support, helping me get through it.
On Sunday at ECOTA, Em and I were reminded that as parents, we have God's blessing. God will be incarnate through our closest friends, with whom we share community, with whom we share the joyous and solemn occasion of parenting.
1 COMMENTS:
Grace said...
It looks like Buck is about to eat the Daniel! :-D
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