The Sacrament of Friendship

The Sacrament of Friendship
I'm grateful! But not just grateful in that generalized way that I sometimes get. When I've just seen a movie that inspires me (like Remember the Titans or Philadelphia), I am grateful to be alive. When I listen to a great speech, read a great article, or enjoy really good ice cream in a fresh and crunchy waffle cone (like I enjoyed last night from the Yogurt Pump), I am grateful. This gratitude is a warm feeling that comes over me when I am reminded that life is good generally speaking that is ;)
This week, I'm grateful for the particulars of my life because of the specific personal experience of being sick. I'm grateful to be healthy. I'm grateful to be at home. I'm grateful for friends. Most importantly, I'm grateful for my wife, the love of my life, my "baby momma", the more prolific blogger, Em. 
Those who know me well can attest that I often tell anyone who will listen that I am "the luckiest man alive." I proclaim my good fortune because of my wife. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. That's always true, generally speaking. But after being sick, and I mean really sick (with the dreaded Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever), for six days last week, I am grateful for Em in a more particular way. Here's why I'm so grateful.
When I came home from work ten days ago, aching all over, burning up with fever, feeling as though the world was spinning, and clueless as to what was wrong with me, Em took action. She took my temperature, and gave me Tylenol. She consulted WEB MD regarding my symptoms. She called in reinforcements by way of the CVS pharmacist, and the UNC Health Line. Before I knew it, I was in the car, and she was driving me to the ER (all while setting up childcare for our son). She stayed with me in the ER, facing her significant fear of needles, as various medical personnel poked and stuck me for hours on end with one sharp foreign object after another. She hung around during the spinal tap (administered for the purpose of ruling out meningitis). 
Spinal taps are very unpleasant.
When I went home, and my symptoms worsened, she took me back to the ER, and stayed with me through the night until the doctors admitted me to the hospital. Upon my discharge from the hospital, she assumed (with the help of friends) all childcare responsibilities while I recovered.
Yes, dear friends, I am the luckiest man alive. I am married to the love of my life, who was there for me this week "in sickness" just as she has been "in health."
This week reminds me of why the church has for two millennia attributed sacramental meaning to marriage. That is, in some mysterious way, the care that two persons give one another through the discipline of practicing their marriage vows is iconic, that is a window into the mysterious life of God. The life of God is often described through the metaphor of Trinity; a concept on which I cannot easily elaborate with any brevity. 
There are many anthropomorphic metaphors used to describe the Trinity. Some of them are more helpful that others, depending on one's point of view. Naming them all here would not be helpful or very interesting.
For the purpose of this blog entry, let me summarize this theologian's Trinitarian theology by saying this: it is God's nature to be in relationship. 
When I think about God's love for me, it is very difficult to separate my experience of God's love from the love I experience through intimate relationships, like that of my life partner, my family, and close friends. This is no doubt why I chose to describe the mystery of the Trinity as I did. 
Reflecting on this week, it strikes me that while marriage or partnership is a powerful icon, it is not only the love between married partners that points us God-ward. No two individuals can maintain the discipline of sacrificial love alone. As my father-in-law asserted at our wedding, "it takes a community as well as a couple to make a marriage."
Thus, one could argue, that not only is marriage a sacrament. Indeed, more broadly, friendship is a sacrament. All seven sacraments (Baptism, Eucharist, Matrimony, Confirmation, Ordination, Reconciliation, Unction (or healing) have friendship with God and humanity at their core. None of them take place in vacuum. All of them require relationship, or to put it more positively, all of the sacraments offer the gift of sharing life with others. 
This past week would have been close to impossible were it not for the many friends that helped Em and me practice our vows. So many friends offered their support, opened their home to our son, and offered to give their time to us for whatever need might arise. 
I did not plan on getting sick last week. It was very unpleasant. I would not sign up for it again, nor would I wish it on my worst enemy. But all in all, I am thankful for the experience because through it I was reminded that God loves me, that I am not alone in the living of life, that my life partner is the greatest gift for which I am very grateful, and that I have many wonderful friends. 




It could be that one can get through just about anything if one has good friends.
POSTED BY WORK IN PROGRESS AT 9:29 PM  




1 COMMENTS:
Robin Lettuce Stack said...
You are such an inspiration. I hope both of you keep writing because you have a way about you that puts me into a reverie.