So far, people have commented frequently on how relaxed Rhett and I seem about Daniel. When asked what has surprised him about parenting, Rhett has more than once replied "how easy it is." We feel pretty confident that we can help Daniel when he needs something and overall he's a really easy, happy baby. But there are also things I worry about, and I'm really not sure how much I should. I welcome your feedback on this!
Things I've been attentive to in a way that I think is non-problematic:
1. No smoke around baby.
2. Daniel must sleep on his back unless he is in our arms.
3. We read to Daniel a lot.
4. We researched vaccines thoroughly before we decided to get them.
5. Daniel must wear a hat with a brim and long sleeves/pants (in a breathable fabric) if we're taking him out into the sun for more than a few minutes.
6. Daniel should wear cloth diapers as much as possible. That is, he sleeps in a disposable diaper at night and if we're going out to a place where we won't be able to change his diaper every 30 minutes, he wears disposable. That doesn't happen very often.
7. We believe strongly in babywearing. Daniel should not be in "stuff" if it's not essential. So we don't put him in bouncy chairs or strollers or a carseat as a means of setting him down. We do, however, put him in a carseat for car rides because it's safer; we put him under his play gym because he loves it; we put him in his bouncy seat when we're cutting things or using the stove in the kitchen. (Again, that's a safety thing).
8. We are serious about keeping Daniel away from watching TV or computer screens. Rhett and I both struggle with ADHD. It has been a serious problem in both of our lives and even with medication and good coaching, we continue to wish we could eliminate its impact on us. Because the AAP has so conclusively linked TV to ADHD, we want to do what we can to protect him from it.
9. Daniel is sensitive to energy. When people are stressed out or negative, Daniel feels it and cries. That means his parents, too. So if I'm getting wiggy about something, and Daniel starts to fuss, it usually means that I need to hand him over to his dad, and vice versa. So far that's been a pretty easy thing to do. It also means that when we're hanging out with friends or family who become anxious, we sometimes have to take Daniel for a walk outside of the energy.
Here are the things I worry about but don't know how worried I should be:
1. Lead Toys: We hear a lot about lead paint on toys lately. Most of Daniel's toys have been pretty inocuous, so far. He can't pick things up yet, so I know they aren't getting in his mouth. He doesn't really even touch them much. But the time is coming soon. How worried should we be? Should we get a lead tester and start testing all Daniel's toys before we let him play with them? Should we buy all his toys "new," as opposed to our usual habit of buying most things from the thrift store? (Our thrift store shopping behavior is largely about wanting to purchase items that we need without contributing to sweat shops or oppressive labor practices; we also have to live frugally.)
2. There are some TV shows that Rhett and I really like to watch (Brothers and Sisters, Oprah's Big Give, CNN News, and Monk). We never let Daniel watch the TV screen, but should we have it off when he's in the room? What about if he's sleeping?
3. As we are returning to work, Rhett and I have to do a large amount of work on the computer. These include writing "notes," writing "Person Centered Plans" for our clients, e-mailing service providers, filling out online forms, and researching resources. Sometimes Daniel is facing forward in the mei tai and awake. We try to keep him from looking at the screen, but as he's awake more and more during the day, it's getting harder. Should we put him down or try to distract him when we need to type, or is the worry about kids watching computer screens more about computer games than word processing?
Can any among you offer your thoughts? I really value input on these things.
Hugs, PM
POSTED BY EMILIE BROWN AT 11:02 AM
3 COMMENTS:
Kerry said...
I'm not a parent, so take this for what it's worth. I think the most important thing is that you do set limits (consistently) based on what you feel comfortable with, so that eventually your child will learn to set limits for himself. I also think it's important not to be too vigilant and to give some room for exploration. As far as TV/ computer screens, I believe in no TV before age 2, but I'd be a lot more worried about him having a TV in the bedroom when he's older than some incidental exposure now.
APRIL 21, 2008 1:15 PM
Anna said...
Likewise, not a parent, but I do similarly struggle with ADHD. As Kerry before me stated, I wouldn't worry about incidental TV watching. Personal time and personal relaxation ("Monk" shows you how important that is!) is so important and can have such an impact on your and Rhett's stress levels (which, as you observe, Daniel picks up on). I'm not advocating for TV watching necessarily, just suggesting flexibility. (Sorry, I just love "Monk"). Hope that all is going well!!
APRIL 21, 2008 3:09 PM
Zabe said...
I agree with what's already been said, especially that the very act of setting limits will likely reduce an attentive parent's stress. If Rhett and PM know upfront what they feel is important to avoid, or what areas deserve particular attention or caution, I think they will find themselves less overwhelmed and anxious. (I am also not a parent, but this is just what my social work gut tells me!)
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